These nonfiction pieces were largely inspired by Howard Jacobsen's book Whatever It Is, I Don't Like It. That title is the most inapt one I've ever encountered: Jacobsen is far from a pessimist; he's not even particularly cantankerous. In fact, this review line says it best: "...Jacobson writes with all the thunder and joy of a man possessed."
For a few years I tried to mimic his wit and insight. This, and other experiments in form, is the result.
This title is available as an ebook. At the moment, it's back in the production department to make it compatible with the latest e-reader features. Read selections below.
The Fascinating Face
21/06/2025
The face is a fascinating thing. Through evolutionary necessity, humans have evolved a complex system for conveying emotions using the blunt instrument that is the face. Eyes widen with alarm. The nose curls at the scent of something foul. The face is like a road sign to our experience, broadcasting for commuters to be on the lookout for abducted feelings, along with a phone number. The face warns drivers of all kinds to raise the plows of their attention. Raise them where?
Continue reading
Significance
24/06/2025
Recently, there was a decrease in the significance of my significant other. She who previously had been significant became, by decree, insignificant. The demotion was initiated, as they say at companies, internally. She requested to terminate the status of her significance. Significantly for me, there’s no protocol in place for halting these things. I was significantly affected.
Continue reading
The Night of the Skunk
24/06/2025
What happens when Native American folklore comes up against the Texas State Reading Standards. Or how working in educational publishing can be wearying.
Continue reading